Why Can’t Catholic Priests Get Married

To answer this question I am posting a discussion I had in the comments section of Priesthood of all believers.
Peter’s style in the comments section was casual/IM…thus, without puctuation or capitalizations. This is normal in those venues and does NOT mean he doesn’t know how to punctuate or capitalize. I didn’t make all of the corrections needed to make his comments and questions formally correct b/c it would have been a lot of work. I thought he had very good and honest questions, representative of the questions many people have so I decided to put them in a post. So, here is our discussion:
Peter: i think you are dead right about presbyters (being the word translated “priest” in English). that is why some are placed into positions of leadership (like james the just or peter and paul, etc). however, these leadership positions are extensively talked about by paul in timothy and other places. in timothy, paul says that presbyters are to be husbands of but one wife and their kids are to be respectful because if they cant control their family they cant control the church.
so now tell me, how can a claim be made that presbyters are supposed to be celibate? there is no mandate that presbyters are celibate. in fact, the exact opposite. paul says that they should marry if they cant control their passions.
BFHU:
You are absolutely correct. There is no Biblical mandate that Priests are to be celibate. In fact, we know since Peter had a mother-in-law that he must have been married, at some point. The normal discipline of priestly celibacy could be changed to allow priests to marry. Celibacy is a discipline in the Latin Rite Catholic Church it is not an unchangeable doctrine or dogma. Eating fish on Fridays, similarly, was a discipline in the Church but it was changed and priestly celibacy might be changed, could be changed, theoretically. But it probably will not be changed any time soon. So disciplines can change but dogma does not change.
There are many good reasons to keep celibacy but the best is because the celibate Priest most closely models Jesus Christ, who was celibate. He also, stands in Persona Christi in most of the sacraments and since in Heaven there will be no marriage, the priest also models life in the age to come. In the Eastern Orthodox churches and even some non Latin rite Catholic Churches married men are ordained to the priesthood. But the married ones cannot become Bishops. And people in these churches prefer the unmarried priests to the married ones for the obvious reason that an unmarried priest can be married to the Church as he is called to be, and a more available father. But they must marry before ordination; they cannot afterwards marry. And in the Latin Rite Catholic Church Deacons can be married but if their wife dies they may not remarry. These are the disciplines of ordination.
Peter: so why should we discount the ministry of a man simply because he has chosen marriage?
BFHU: The ministry of a man who marries is not discounted by the Church. It is his vocation just like priesthood is a vocation. The married man is purified through his marriage and models the loving union of the Trinity-Man/Woman/child. The fruitfulness of their love brings new life. And he fulfills his priesthood of believers by being:
a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
And the priest, also, is purified through the difficulties of his vocation. The fruitfulness of of the Priest’s love of the bride of Christ brings new life, born for eternity in Heaven.
Peter: dont we learn many otherwise impossible lessons through oneness with our wives? isnt that why JB, JC, and paul all spoke of the relationship between man and wife as an allegory for Christ and the church?
BFHU: Absolutely accurate there! Thank you for your polite and excellent questions.
Peter: thanks for the response. i agree with you about your points, minus one problematic thing i have always disagreed with the church on. why if the word presbyter is the only word for “priest” do we think that now a priest SHOULD NOT be married.
BFHU: It is not a matter of “should not” but it is a matter of discipline for those who wish to shepherd the church of God, to give up marriage and family in order to devote all attention to the Bride of Christ. The Church does not forbid marriage to any one. All who feel called to the vocation of marriage are free to marry. Part of the discernment for the priesthood is, Am I willing? Am I able to give up marriage? Most are not called to the priesthood. It is a gift.
I Cor 7:1 It is good for a man not to marry…An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs —how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided.”
Peter: i understand there are some whom God calls to live celebate lives, but most of us burn with passion if we arent married.
And as St. Paul said, ” it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
BFHU:Very true and then they should marry but as Jesus said….
Matthew 19:12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Peter:
besides that we are supposed to follow Tradition as it is passed down to us. the very earliest traditions (not only in the New Testament, but also in church history) there were many priests and bishops who were married.
BFHU: Please read I Cor 7 and realize that the Catholic Church takes Paul’s advice much more literally than most Protestants. The New Testament is the earliest Tradition. And we follow it. The Catholic Church still has married priests and celibate priests. The unmarried more closely follow the example of Christ in this matter.
Peter: so what do you do with the fact that peter (and others seemed to be married)? peter, according to the catholic church, is the first pope. what a precedent to set for popes who have the “discipline” of celebacy. we are to go by tradition, the church just seems to pick and choose which traditions it likes.
BFHU: Have you done any research to understand how and why the Church has made the decisions she has? I have experienced over and over thinking, “OK, now there can’t be a good explanation for this! But, once I looked into it, the explanation was beautiful and absolutely sublime. For instance, when a Jewish Levitcal Priest was chosen to go into the Holy of Holies,as Zecharia father of John the Baptist was, they had to remain celibate for a month. Celibacy was a discipline for entering into the presence of God just one time on one day. But our priests are in the Presence of Christ in the Eucharist every day. Therefore, perpetual celibacy is a fitting fulfillment of the OT law. For more information, you might be interested in this article about the History of Celibacy. Additionally, Tradition with a capital “T” refers to the unwritten teaching of the apostles. And the Catholic Church is as bound to follow that teaching as sacred scripture. Tradition with a lower case “t” would apply to the traditions of men, family traditions, ethnic traditions etc. Celibacy is a Church discipline, as it was passed down from the disciples and is what you WILL find today in the Catholic Church to this day.
Filed under: Priests
If a man wants to be celibate as the Aspostle Paul was. It is up the the individual. However, there is a solutiossn for men that cannodst contain dasthemself.
I totally agree with priestly celibacy. It is difficult enough to have one wife, impossible to happily contend with two - a woman and The Bride of Christ, the Church.
A priest is “another Christ” alter Christus, and should remain as He did, celibate.
One Vocation per man!
That’s because of Pope is gay and wants all priests to be GAY like him. He wants to have more power to allow the priests to be gay!
That is beyond the ridiculous. How do you explain then, that one of the first things Pope Benedict did was issue an encyclical explicitly banning homosexuals from the priesthood?
I’ve been discerning the Pristhood, and for me, I don’t really care if I can never be a natural father, because as priests, we are fathers to so many, even to those who are older than us. I think that celibacy is a sacrifice that all priests should be willing to make to serve Jesus in one of the most important things a man can be called to do.
Is there any indication in the bible that says it’s better for a Christ to not get married?
Is marriage an obstacle that prevents us from worshiping or serving god as it should be? If you say yes, why peter who is considered a high figure in Christianity was married!!!? And no one can say that his marriage prevents him from being a good servant of god. Another question, if the real Christ is the one who serves and devotes all his life to worship god, and all Christians are supposed to be that person, and since marriage in a way or another is an obstacle, so what would happen if all people wants to be real Christians (servants of god who devote their whole lives to god) I think that life will stop and we all will die, and hence will be no one to serve god? Don’t you think that a real servant is the one who can meet his god’s recommendations and orders and his own wishes and desires in the same(surely within the frame of goodness) Is a good servant always means harming yourself and prevent yourself from life’s joy ?
Isn’t it good to marry and have children, so that you can teach them good things that god likes? IF God’s servant doesn’t not marry, who will marry then, bad people? At this case there are only bad people!!! I will be thankful if you give me reasonable answers to these questions, and sorry for my bad style in writing!!
Ragheb,
Q. Is there any indication in the Bible that says it’s better for Christ not to get married?
A. No. But it would not be fitting for God the Son to marry a human creature.
Q.Is marriage an obstacle that prevents us from worshiping or serving God as it should be?
A. No
Q. Why was Peter who is considered a high figure in Christianity married!!!?
A. Jesus called Peter and Peter had been married. But his wife seems to have died since we never hear of her.
Q. And no one can say that Peter’s marriage prevents him from being a good servant of God.
A. True
Q. If the real Christ(ian) is the one who serves and devotes all his life to worship God, and all Christians are supposed to do this, and since marriage in a way or another is an obstacle, so what would happen if all people wants to be real Christians (servants of God who devote their whole lives to God) I think that life will stop and we all will die, and hence will be no one to serve God?
A. The Catholic Church does not teach that the unmarried are the only ones who can fully serve God. Marriage is NOT an obstacle to serving God.
We have two possible vocations. Celibacy or marriage.If everyone chose celibacy in the same generation it would not end life at all. It would end reproduction and eventually all humans would be dead. This is not a problem but IF it happened it would be the end of this era and the final judgement would be at hand. But many will always be serving God in Eternity. So it is not the end of people serving God.
Q. Don’t you think that a real servant is the one who can meet his God’s recommendations and orders?
A. Yes.
Q.Does being a good servant always mean harming yourself and preventing yourself from life’s joy?
A. Not at all. It is wrong to harm outselves.
Q. Isn’t it good to marry and have children, so that you can teach them good things that God likes?
A. Yes.
Q. IF God’s servants don’t marry, who will marry then, bad people?
A. If all of God’s servants did not marry then only the ungodly would marry. But marriage is a beautiful vocation dignified by Jesus at the wedding at Cana.
I have tried to answer all of your questions but they all seem to be based on erroneous assumptions about what the Catholic Church teaches. If you have more questions check in the Catechism–>Here to see if the Church even teaches what you might have been told or think about the Catholic Church. Sorry it took so long to reply but I was out of town.
I heard it was because a priest had a really religious cross important to the catholic religion and when he died he left it to his wife instead of the church. The church asked for it and by law she did not have to give it up. Since then the church said priests could not get married.
That sounds like an urban legend. It is not true and does not correspond to any reality within the Catholic Church.
Bfhu, your arguments are strong, and they led me to understand this situation in greater depth, thank you. While there is something admirable about priests dedicating their lives to the Church, and turning their back on marriage and fatherhood and all that it promises . What we learn from loving another peron, our partner, our children, cannot be taught or explained, and it makes us better people. It makes us selfless and gives us empathy for others. And I cannot honestly say, that a person, priest or not, would be better without this experience. I think the discipline of celibacy, will come in for much scruitiny, if only because of the increasing number of married priests within the Catholic Church (Anglican converts, members of the Eastern Catholic Church etc). Even the most selfless priest will see this and start to question how fair this situation actually is.
Thanks for your comments. And of course, the Church could possibly change this discipline. Unlikely, but still possible. In todays parishes a married priest would be very hard pressed not to slight either his family or the parish.
This is even true with all Protestant pastors. The wife and family sacrifice a great deal more than either the husband or wife really realized before making the commitment. How do you as a wife/husband deal with a husband/wife who can’t do_______ b/c he/she has to do God’s work? Very difficult balancing act.
As a former Catholic and current Orthodox Christian, I can see arguments for both sides.
It really comes down to tradition and not some dogma. Catholic priests remain unmarried because they become married to the Church. Without a family or a wife to worry about they can focus soley on their church.
Orthodoxy allows married priests, but the have to be married before being ordained, and if they are widowed, they can not remarry. Orthodoxy allows married priests because as a priest, it is his duty to help council the lay people, and it’s much easier to council a married person about relationship issues if the priest himself is married!
And in fact, in Eastern Rite Catholicism, there ARE married Catholic priests!
Becoming a priest is a very important decision, it’s not just something you are on Sunday morning, and I think that is one of the considerations made when it was decided that Roman Rite Catholic priests should remain unmarried. Just remember, it’s a matter of Tradition, not Dogma!
“Orthodoxy allows married priests because as a priest, it is his duty to help council the lay people, and it’s much easier to council a married person about relationship issues if the priest himself is married!”
This seems a rather simple reduction of why married priests are allowed in the East. In fact issues of refraining from marital relations played no small role in how the division occured. In the West, where the practice of going to the altar daily became the norm even outside of the monasteries, celibacy became more important. In the East we saw the decline of daily parochial liturgies…
Worth noting - as far as the asessment of presbyteral counseling goes - commonly the married village priests in the Eastern Churches were comparable to the Latin “priest simplex”, being granted no faculties to hear confessions, and perhaps not permitted to preach. For confession the married as often as not dutifully went off to monasteries to deal with monks.
You’re right, it was a simple reason, as I’m not fully familiar with the specific theological/historical reasons. It was one reason my priest gave me though when I asked.
You’re also right that many confessions were heard by Heiromonks.
I hadn’t heard about village priests not being hear confessions in times past, though I’d be interesting in learning about it. Do you have a source I could read?
Also, I’m not sure I understand the relationship between “going to the altar” daily and celibacy. Do you mean lay people daily receiving the Mystical Supper? Maybe you could clarify for me?
It is a reference to daily Mass/Divine Liturgy. Married priests in the East are expected to refrain from the marriage bed on the eve of their celebration of the Eucharist.
This is in keeping with the Levitical priesthood of Israel wherein priests who served at the altar were apart from their wives. Being a man with Zachariah in his own heart, you can of course recall how this is even discussed in the New Testament in the Gospel of Saint Luke.
In the East this meant that daily Mass/Dinvine Liturgy was out for parish priests… In the west, the continence eventually was cemented into permanent celibacy. The same function was achieved just in different manners.
Ah, okay yes. It’s part of the fasting before receiving the Eucharist, just as Orthodox lay people fast from all food from midnight the night before, until after they’ve received it. Thanks for clearning that up!